Father’s Love

Have you ever gotten to the point where you feel like you keep coming to God asking for forgiveness for the same sins? You pray that He would forgive you for doing something, and few days, weeks, or months later you come back and pray again for the same problem. I have. And many times I hesitated before praying. I feel like I shouldn’t ask Him for forgiveness because I am afraid that I would come to Him again for the same exact problem. What should I do? I hated myself because I sinned against Him again. I had asked Him for forgiveness already for the same problem, and I did it again. I feel like I am asking Him for too much. I think I shouldn’t ask Him to forgive me again. What should I do? I felt helpless, ashamed, and miserable. Have you ever felt the same?

Let me share with you the message He gave me today.

 What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He did not even spare His own Son, but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything? Who can bring accusation against God’s elect? God is the One who justifies. Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the One who died, but even more, has been raised; He also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us.’ For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!

This is the kind of love that He did and still does. He gave up His own son when you and I were still sinners, His enemies. We were at a war against Him, the Creator and the Lord. And after redeeming us from that status, adopting us as His children, Jesus Himself intercedes for us. I was afraid of going before Him because of what I had done, but He encouraged me to come before Him with every burden I had. He reminded me that He is God who forgives. He reminded me of His mercy and grace that He has poured upon my life and many others’. Honestly, I do not understand why He loves us that much. Why is He so gracious and merciful towards us? My heart breaks but, at the same time, rejoices. I am deeply grieved that I am so weak that I fall over and over again. I am sorrowful that I am no way close to be where God desires me to be. I am so blessed that He chose me to be His. I am so thankful for who my Father is. I am so overwhelmed by His grace and mercy and love that He has shown me.

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I forget this so often …

19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.

James 1:19-25 (NIV)

I want to live the righteous life that You desire, but I am so quick to become angry..

I want to get rid of all the evil and wickedness in me and fill my heart with Your word..

Lord, help me

My God Who Is Faithful

On the last blog  I wrote that God spoke to my heart to seek Him and promised me that He will be my stronghold in times of trouble. This time I want to share with you how God has been faithful to His promise in my life.

At that time, I was very anxious about and tired of the growing financial burden in my life. I did not and still do not have a job to meet my daily needs. However, after realizing that I needed to rely on His strength and trust Him that He would meet my financial needs, I repented of being anxious when God had already promised for His provision and had already been faithful in keeping the promise up to that point without failing. Then, I prayed that He would help me rely on Him and focus on the things that He has called me to do and that I would pray when I become worried. And, of course, I prayed for His provision.

That day I sent out emails to various places on campus where I am studying now, looking for any possible openings. I received feedbacks soon, but none of them was hiring at that point. Being little discouraged, I was becoming anxious again. I admit that I am such a weak person. But because I am weak, I prayed, again, for His help. “LORD, I know You are aware of my needs and I know You have already prepared things I need. Help me be patient and be able to wait without becoming anxious. Help me completely trust You. You are my strength.” Peace from God started filling my heart, and, soon, were the anxiety and discouragement removed from my heart.

The next day, I received few more feedbacks from other offices saying there is no opening at that time. But I did not get discouraged this time because I remembered God had been faithful and will be faithful forever. Few hours later, I opened my email again. (Being a student, I check my email pretty often as you can see! ha) There I found emails from few websites that I surf sometimes and an email from one of the campus offices.

The email said that there was no openings in the office; however, the person who wrote the email said that she would like to see me so that if she hear about any new openings she might be able to introduce me to the employers on campus. So, I had an opportunity to talk and get to know her, and she has been helping me greatly ever since then. (I want to thank her every time I think about her) In fact, with her help, I had an opportunity to talk to one of the employers on campus, and I might get a job pretty soon !

Yet, that was not everything.

On the day I sent out emails, when I was so exhausted, on my facebook, I wrote, “NEEDS A JOB!” That night, somebody sent me a message asking if I was interested in working in an international trading company as a translator. With my status, I am not allowed to work off campus. Plus, I did not even know any company that would hire me. I wrote him back a message saying that I can’t work off campus. The next day, I got another message from the same person saying “Let me know if I can help.”

When I read the message, I thought that was somewhat funny because, I thought, anybody who could really help me would be somebody working at my school. I asked him, “How could you help me?” At that time, I did not expect anything to happen. However, I received an unexpected response from him, “Let me know if it is okay to give you a gift. You can pay me back by helping someone else in the future.”

A gift? For a few minutes I did not know what to say or how to respond. I had never been offered any gift like this, and he and I barely knew each other (this is still true).  In response to his message, I told him that I had been praying for God’s provision and that  if He moved his heart to help me in this season I thank Him for using his hands to meet my needs and thank him for helping.  So, the next day, I received the gift that could meet my urgent financial needs at that time. Once again I realized that God is able and powerful and makes things that seem to be impossible possible. After that incident, I received another gift from someone anonymously.

All these happened within the last few weeks.

I just wanted to share how God has been faithful in my life, hoping that this story might encourage people who are going through difficulties in life. Let’s remember that God knows what we need and wants us to depend on Him and take refuge in Him. God is faithful. The faithful God who has been with me will be with you, too!

Thanksgiving week is almost over, but I will not cease to give thanks to Him. And I want to invite everyone to give thanks to our faithful God :)

In Christ,

Hannah